Friday, May 18, 2012

So, some ideas

Firstly, I am considering writing for Cracked, since I apparently have the bad luck that everyone laughs at whatever I write anyway, I figure I might as well get paid.  I was tricked into purchasing Fifty Shades of Grey, since it mentioned BDSM in the reviews and anyone that's read my recent novel can guess that I'm a rotten pervert.  Since it seemed to be nothing other than a Twilight fanfic, I looked deeper and found out, yes, it was at one time a Twilight fanfic.  All the author did was change some names around and take out the whole vampire thing.  How did I figure it out, you ask?  Well, my hatred for the ingenious manipulation of the stupid high school girls started with reading a mere page of Twilight, when I then tossed the book aside, never to revisit it.  I prefer a strong female lead.  Should they be mildly insane, I require a reason.  Since Fifty up there happened to have a woman who switches moods faster than a car switches gears on an obstacle course - I figured something was up.  Add to that the fact that she dragged out the reason behind Mr. Grey being screwed up and tried (poorly) to mask it with sex scenes that I guess some people find racy (really the sheltered people today make me ill) and I had to look deeper.  Sure enough, the entire first book and apparently much of the second were originally a serialized fanfic about Edward and Bella. 

The same travesty happened to me when I heard about the hunger games, and being the soulless terrible person I am, clapped with glee at the idea of a 24-way deathmatch that resembled the short story 'the lottery.' "You win the first prize, poor kid."  Imagine my surprise when the lead female was inexplicably stricken retarded as soon as she left her home.  Post traumatic stress maybe, I don't know, but it had me angry enough that the potential behind the story was wasted on a badly pieced together teen romance that I was ranting on and off for two days.  So, Cracked.  Look for an article by Kaeli (my alter-ego) regarding why the book Twilight has ruined so many other genres and defined how women apparently should act.  I have so many things to tear apart from these books, and only so much time...

Did I mention that I'm a bitter, terrible person?  My reason for it is this; these other two books could've been spectacular.  If you go by their sales, then they already are.  But, take into account the fact that they avoid having to be creative by dragging a story out, having their characters never just get fed up and ask what's going on, and they suddenly seem cheap.  "Why does he keep saying he loves me?" Hrm - maybe he does?  That thought never seems to occur to these female leads.  Infuriatingly, I know that a decent portion of the fanbase relates to it, but it could've been done so much better.  What a waste.

Rant ended, for now.  Back on business -

Secondly, I will be starting a website for the creative writing group that I run with some friends, all are welcome to read what we have available when the site goes up and of course commentary is always appreciated.  A favorite of our writers is a three topic, three page short challenge, where the three topics chosen have to be integral to the story.  My personal favorites were my stories Lloyd (dishes, the color white and 80's pop music were chosen as topics) and Nina (ketchup giraffes and clouds.)  Like story dice, these are riotous lol - I will post within the month with the address of that gem.

Third; Since my recent acquisition of a Kindle Fire (they are very awesome btw) I came to a startling discovery; PWT needs faaar more editing.  I will be releasing the second edition in a few weeks, hopefully that will fix the problems mentioned in my first blog post regarding the flow of the story.  As I know I've said before (somewhere) I do try to improve on my past work when I see the opportunity, so I am spending most of my mornings on said kindle, editing the crap out of that story.  Seeing it in a book format instead of on a monitor really made the difference; now I can critique it like I pick apart other books (see above.)

Lastly - Updates on story progress;

The second installment of Playing with Tigers is moving along quickly and with no foreseeable problems.  I've found the way I am going to be working in the requests that I did receive via E-mail from extremely anonymous peoples.  From now on all requests need to state such in the title, or I will consider your message spam mail that is promising me a larger penis.  A preposterous idea; although admittedly it may need work since it is completely lacking, to the point of being nonexistant.  That was a joke for the few of you who actually wondered, and shame on you for it.  I'm entirely female. 

The steampunk/comedy/murder-mystery is paused temporarily because of a logical error in the plot that I am working quickly to resolve.  The Character I devised is too rotten to give a crap about the device I was going to implement, and I refuse to just use it anyway and get the book done.  If I'm doing it, I'm doing it right.

New short story work - Dr. Shenanigans and Mr. Fingers guide to proper thievery is nearing completion when I need a break from Keel screwing everyone. 

And with that, I am off to write again.  Please comment, like it or hate it - I just love the attention  :)

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